Callie and Polly

I guess this is the start of a new tradition of posting about both of my girls! I can't believe it's been a month already. I'm a little sensitive to the fact that we already know from experience that time flies. I've been trying to soak in the tiny baby time but somehow this month flew by despite my best efforts to make it slow down. The days disappear in a blur of naps, diapers, bottles, breast pump, and meals. I can't get over the fact that we have two girls and that it's already time to start using these monthly onesies made by my awesome friend Steph. Here are some highlights from this month.

• The 1 month onesie was a little baggy on Polly but serves as a quarter length sleeve on Callie. I can't wait to see how much she weighs tomorrow at her doctor's appointment.  
• Leading up to Callie's arrival, I was very sentimental about Polly losing her role as the only child with our full, undivided attention. It turns out I do have enough room in my heart for two girls and Polly isn't sort of attention. She actually been so spoiled by visitors and presents that I don't think she's thought for one second that she's getting less. She has been so well adjusted and sweet. She just thinks her little sister is the cutest thing she's ever seen. 
• When I got home from the hospital, Polly was excited that my belly was smaller, she asked, "will you be able to sit on the floor and play with me?".  I guess my activity and mobility the last few weeks didn't go unnoticed by Polly. Nothing gets by her really. Nothing.
• It's becoming apparent that Polly has a very dramatic side. When she says something funny I usually leave a note in my phone so I remember when it's time to write about the month. This month I did a terrible job and only had one note. I can't remember the circumstances but I do remember something happening to her and her response being, "That makes my life yuck!" I will use this from now on to describe so many things.  I have no idea where she gets this personality...sorry kid.  
• Breastfeeding hurts dammit. All of the books and lactation consultants tell you, "it's not supposed to hurt" which is the least helpful thing to say to someone in extreme pain from trying to breastfeed.  I had a hard time latching Polly but we eventually got the hang of it after a few months of using a nipple shield and powering through. Callie didn't latch at all the first week and a half so I started exclusively pumping. Then my boobs were killing me so I quit trying to get her to latch after a visit with the lactation consultant who determined that she has a high palate and a slight tongue tie. The lactation consultant said it would be very difficult for her to latch so I gave the boobs a break. Don't tell women what their bodies should and shouldn't feel!!! 
• These last four weeks I've really thought a lot about maternity leave in our country and it makes me more and more mad. I'm a lucky person that likes my job for the most part. I don't really have a desire to be a stay at home mom but I do want more time with my baby in this first year. I can see how many women are forced into being stay at home moms even when they might rather have their career. We just need more time to focus on our babies. I'm already aware that my leave is quickly ticking away and I'm having a hard time picturing balancing it all. I know I will figure it out but it makes me mad that I have to. Then there is the fact that the leave I have isn't paid!!! I want to figure out how to pave the way for the women coming up after me.  That's my new plan.  
• I've been reading my posts about Polly along the way and it's still true that the world is a scarier place when you have kids and now it's twice as scary. Instead of focusing on that I instead try really hard to be grateful and aware of how lucky we are. 
• Naming your baby the day they are born means that you may call them every name you ever considered or just refer to them as that baby when you are really tired during the first week or two. You don't love them any less though. 
• I can't stop looking at these two pictures and I'm already sentimental about them graduating from high school. This is why most moms are crazy.