Sunday, April 26, 2015

Not So Terrible Twos

The only way we could get her to sit still was the rainbow slinky.  This month has felt LONG and it seems like Polly has grown a yard since the last update.  Some of her 2T pants are starting to turn into capri pants just in time for the weather to turn warm.  I am fall down tired tonight after a crazy month that culminated with a rainy yet successful Crafty Supermarket on Saturday.  I am definitely feeling like my weekend needs a weekend.  Here are some updates from this month.

  • We are starting to understand where the term "terrible twos" got it's name.  There are many versions of this conversation that happen in our house on a daily basis.
    • Me: Polly it's time to use the potty, do you want me to put the seat up for you?
    • Polly (in a sad voice):  Yes.
    • Me: Okay, are you sure?
    • Polly (in an even sadder voice): Yes.
    • Me (putting the seat on):  Here you go.
    • Polly(crying and stomping up and down): NO!
    • Me: what's wrong?
    • Polly: I WANTED TO DO IT!!!!
  • What they don't say about this age though is how awesome it can be.  It really has to be or people all over the world would only have one kid.  They would NEVER have a two year old and then think, let's do that again if it weren't also awesome at the same time.  Yesterday she held my face in her hand and told me she loved me in a most genuine sweet way that I thought my heart and brain would explode. 
  • I often see her taking care of her dolls or stuffed animals in the most gentle way and I can hear her saying sweet little things to them that I say to her, "I won't let you fall", "do you want to lay your head on my shoulder" and it makes me melt.  
  • She sometimes starts sentences with the word "actually" and I find myself realizing that I'm closer to having a 15 year old than I am to being a 15 year old myself.  
  • We recently gave her this What a Wonderful World book. It's become a nightly favorite.  I usually sing it to her despite my terrible voice and she has started to sing along too.  This song is one of those songs that I've heard so many times that I don't really hear it but reading this book to her each night, I get a little lump in my throat every time.  There is something about these lines that summarize all of the hopes that I have for her.  
I hear babies cryin'. I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know 
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Three years

Today marks three years since we found out that a tiny human was coming to live with us for a while.  I've read a lot of mommy blogs about this change and I don't find myself to be a part of the camp that feels like I found out who I was when I became a mom or that I found myself when I became a mom.  I also can't really say that I even know what those two statements really mean to be honest.  I do think that having a daughter has made me less afraid to share my feelings and be more vulnerable to love and affection of others.  It's made me want to be a stronger woman and a good role model for her.  It's made me want to try even more things that are hard or that I'm afraid of because I want her to do the same.  It's made me value my relationships more for reasons that I don't really understand yet.  Maybe it's that I see my own mortality in her youth.  Tonight I was driving home from an event, thinking about what a difference three years can make and this song struck me a bit.  She made me love more.  

Thursday, March 26, 2015

2 years + 3 months

It's 8:35p.m. and I'm in bed.  This month has kicked my butt at work and Polly has been in high speed when I get home so that makes for one tired momma.  Note that she is wearing the exact same outfit as last month.  It's her dad's favorite so it goes on whenever it's clean.  It amazes me each month that passes how different she can look.  Day to day I don't notice the subtle changes in her appearance but then a picture just hits me over the head with how fast time is flying.  While work has been crazy, I've been doing more to be more present with her each night and weekend.  We've been having lots of fun with the weather warming up a bit.  Here are a few highlights:

  • I can't remember the context but last Friday she said in response to something someone said, "That's not my job."  
  • Another favorite is when I ask her to hand me something while she's busy and she says, "you get it YOURSELF".  
  • She also likes to pretend to be busy with something and say, "I'm working".  That one makes me feel slightly guilty but I also like the idea of her pretending to be "working" which usually involves Legos and toy power tools.  
  • She gives the best hugs and kisses.
  • I can't get enough of her pure joy when I get home from work or when I pick her up from her babysitter.  She yells "MOMMY" and throws her arms up in the air and it melt my heart.  
  • Being a parent is one of the most complex feelings I've ever had.  I love her SO much and die to spend more time with her daily but at the same time there is something so satisfying about driving in my car alone with my own thoughts or settling into my quiet office at the start of the week.  Complex is the best way I can describe it.  I wish people talked about this more.  Maybe there would be less mommy guilt out there killing our self esteem.
  • I'm so proud of how independent she is.  She has never once cried when I've dropped her off at her babysitter's house.  That is a testament to how much she loves being there (thank you Ms. Beth!).  It was very hard to drop her off there at 3 months old and head to work (two years ago this week).  While I wish I had a longer leave to be with her and believe the maternity practices of this country need to change, I also love how she has her own little life that she gets to explore away from the safety of her parents and that makes me very happy.  Now she's getting old enough to tell me to some degree what she did that day and it's so fun to hear what she takes away from her days there.  We are lucky.  
  • She has long and in-depth fake phone conversations that make me realize how annoying I sound on the phone.  
  • We are still working on the whole potty training thing.  I may never quit being shocked by how adult sized poop comes out of a tiny, tiny person.  We haven't been very disciplined about it but I'm comforted by a question a wise coworker asked, "Do you know any adults who aren't potty trained?" Nope and hopefully our kid isn't the first in the history of mankind to wear diapers to college.  
  • She wants to be outside constantly.  She loves dirt, rocks and any moving creature outside.  She has been helping me water some newly planted flowers and I love seeing how seriously she takes it.  It reminds me of helping my grandmother in her garden and flowerbeds in the summer.  I loved feeling helpful and I think she loves it too.  
  • She is fiercely independent and wants to DO IT HERSELF with everything.  It makes getting in the car take a lifetime when I'm trying to get to work but she's teaching me a lot about patience and slowing down.  I enjoy letting her scale the gigantic car herself and see the pride in little face when she makes it on her own into her seat.  
  • There is no hurrying a 2 year old so just give up!  Yet I try each day and each day I fail.  

Thursday, February 26, 2015

26 Months or something

Polly is basically an adult now.  We took this picture tonight instead of our usual morning pic.  We were too busy playing with some new Legos this morning.  Best toy ever.  We have full conversations and she doesn't forget a thing which makes navigating conversations and life around her interesting for sure.  Here are a few highlights.
  • I mindlessly watched this video on Facebook this week while Polly played with Legos.  It seemed harmless enough, a German guy doing a cover of an LL Cool J song with his parents. Polly came and sat down to join me for the last half.  It made me laugh and then I went on my way.  Later on I can hear her saying in the kitchen, "mama said knock you out" clear as day with a slight German accent.  Ben had lots of questions.  I forgot to warn the babysitter but it hasn't come up.  
  • Weeks after visiting my best friends house we go for another visit.  Polly walks in and immediately asks for goldfish crackers which she had last time she was there and then asked where their television went.  I didn't even notice that they had moved it but she did.  
  • Potty training is still going slow.  SO slow.  I haven't spent this much time sitting on the bathroom floor next to the toilet since I turned 21.  
  • She randomly asked a woman in the grocery store, "how are you doing?" in a really concerned and genuine way. She also offered above mentioned BFF a sparkle water when she arrive at our house the other day.  I would say that she is polite but she will also quickly say, "don't touch me" and this morning as I was leaving for work she sternly said, "I don't love you!" as I walked out.  
  • She sings all the time.  I put her in bed an hour ago and she just randomly started singing the ABC's.  And now there is silence.
  • Her favorite music requests in the car right now are daddy songs, Bruno Mars, and Mark Ronson.  Sometimes she asks for "got da base" which translates to All About That Base.  I thought we were going to be better influences on her.
  • We still have nightly dance parties.  
  • She likes to look for school buses on the way to her sitter's house and it breaks my heart that some day she may have to get on one of those big scary things.
  • $90 in snow suits and she spent one whole minute in the snow.
  • She still calls our friend Matt, Map.  I may never correct her.  
  • Sometimes I watch her when she doesn't know I'm there and she's in her own little mind thinking her own little thoughts and I feel like my heart is going to explode.  

Monday, January 26, 2015


I actually think for the first time since Polly was born, but this month took forever.  It's January and I'm hating the cold this year.  Our beautiful walking neighborhood and backyard make me yearn for warmer weather each day.  I can't wait to go for walks and watch Polly collect acorns that we eventually find all over our house.  Unfortunately we probably have several more weeks of this cold.  Luckily we have a pretty entertaining little lady to get us through.  Here are a few highlights from this month.

  • She is obsessed with tunnels.  She calls bridges tunnels.  She wants us to make tunnels for her to crawl through and she even sometimes refers to her mouth as a tunnel.  This comes in handy when you are trying to get her to eat something she doesn't want to but I think she's on to me now.  
  • When someone hurts themselves she gets very concerned and hearing her little voice get small and caring as she asks, "are you okay"makes my heart explode.  
  • She refers to television shows as programs.  It's like having a tiny elderly person around the house.
  • Potty training is going slowly but we get lots of quality time in the bathroom reading stories.  She now knows that she lives in North America.  She's only pooped on the floor once.  
  • She thinks the lyrics to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star are twinkle twinkle lady star.  I hope she never learns the right words.
  • She now grabs things like a crayon or a screwdriver and says, "I have an idea!"  I'm not sure she knows what an idea is but it's pretty darn cute.  
  • I'm so lucky to have a job that let's me work from home even just once a week.  I love getting to hear the little conversations between Polly and Ben as I work from my office upstairs.  
  • We bought snowsuits for the whole family and it hasn't really snowed since November.  I believe this purchased changed the weather for sure.  If we didn't have them, there would be a daily blizzard.  

Friday, December 26, 2014

2 Years Old

We have a two year old.  Really?  It's really hard to believe our little baby turned two today.  I had a little party all planned out with party favors and all and then I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a train.  We decided to cancel instead of risking infecting guests and I could barely move to bake the chocolate cake or run last minute errands.  Little Polly didn't seem to mind or notice any difference.  Ben went and bought her a balloon, a cupcake, and some DayQuil for mom.   We put her big number two candle on her little tiny cupcake and when we came into the dining room singing her happy birthday she had the sweetest little grin on her face that I'll never forget.  Now that she's two I guess we'll have to decide if we are still going to take a monthly picture, I guess we'll see.  The NyQuil is starting to kick in so I better get on with this months highlights or who knows what will happen.

  • Tomorrow Polly is going to be confused by why she doesn't get presents.
  • She really started to understand Santa this year.  Her first request was a screwdriver.  We have a small cute little stuffed Santa and she sweetly asked him to bring one to her one night and Ben and I almost fell over.  Her request later grew to a screwdriver, chocolates, and books.  She got all of these and then some.
  • Christmas is so damn fun again.  Ben and I used to do a good job of making Christmas fun for one another but nothing compares to watching her discover her new books and tools.  
  • The only way we got the pic above was with chocolate.  She was refusing to have her picture taken and I was too tired to be patent so I gave her chocolate and immediately regretted it because just look at her.  Just like that you create a chocolate monster and I don't really like bribery as a motivator so that was it!
  • I cannot get this child to eat vegetables regularly.  Any suggestions out there?  It really stresses me out.
  • She likes to sing and "play the piano".  She really likes to be accompanied by a guitar. Her songs include great hits like, "I'm Singing", or "We're Both Singing" where she just says these words over and over again while hitting the keys.  The other day I found her playing piano with a purple crayon.  That didn't go over well.
  • She's been sick twice this month and has formed a habit of wanting me to rock her in her chair in the middle of the night and right before bedtime.  She specifically needs her blanket wrapped around her,  baby bear, little lamb and bear.  I don't mind because I know it's not going to last forever.
  • She's starting to pretend to read books to me and her versions of books are my favorite because she skips and adds words that crack me up.  Her most recent version of Good Night Moon included, "Good night kittens, good night dogs."  There are not dogs in the book.  
  • NyQuil is really setting in sooooooo good night nobody, good night mushhhhh.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

23 Months

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I couldn't be more thankful for getting to spend this week away from work, hanging out with this kid.  Here are a few thoughts about this month:

  • This month she really is just a kid.  There is hardly any baby left in there.  The last two days have been mommy/daughter days and we are starting to have straight up conversations.
  • She loves accomplishing something and yelling, "I DID IT!".
  • She has her way of doing things.  In the morning she hates it when one of us is still in bed after the other gets her out of her bed.  She refuses to come into our bedroom, she wants to get down to playing immediately.  No time for laziness.  
  • I'm proud of how independent she is.  I've had to go out of town twice over the last two months for work and she's done great!  Technology bridges the gap and it helps that she has a great dad and babysitter that she loves.  
  • Being a passionate working mom with other interests outside of work is really hard.  I constantly feel guilty either about work, projects or Polly.  In the new year, I'm going to really focus on giving myself a break.  Not that I'll slack in any of my priorities but I need to be okay with things just being okay sometimes.  I want things to be perfect all too often.  
  • I laugh inside when Polly says things to strangers like, "don't touch me" or "walk away".  I just love seeing her assert herself and her boundaries.  I hope she never loses that but perhaps is a little more polite unless the situation calls for yelling.