Wednesday, March 26, 2014

15 Months

This week marks a year since I returned to work after Polly arrived.  What a crazy year and she looks like a little kid in this picture, not a baby.  Making it to this point feels like a huge accomplishment while juggling adjusting to motherhood, taking on new responsibilities at work, and running a store and indie craft show on the side.

This year has been a year of choices, many of which center around Polly and thinking about what type of mom I want to be, what I want Polly to know of me as a woman and the type of people I want her to be surrounded by each day.  Many of these thoughts have led me to giving up one of those things that I've been juggling, my store Fabricate.  It was a hard choice but it's led to me rediscovering weekends, friends, family, and any day now...making art.  Polly has already gotten to spend more time with friends and family which has been awesome.  It's also given me even more time with Polly which is a huge bonus all around.  Here are a few highlights from this last month:
  • My husband traveled some this month and when he left, he left us with a great present called the stomach flu.  I thought maybe he had food poisoning from eating on the road but nooooooo.  Polly luckily didn't get it but it took me out and then a few days later it took out Beth, the awesome babysitter.   There were tears, a pathetic call to my mom just for pity, and a moment on my living room floor where I just laid there while Polly ran circles around me and I just kept thinking over and over again, "I DON'T WANT TO BE AN ADULT TODAY."  It was one of those illnesses where you feel like a whole new person when the fog is lifted.  
  • I hear my tone in Polly's voice when she says words a certain way and it terrifies me!
  • Polly officially has a favorite stuffed animal which is pictured above!  It's so cute how she loves him/her and gives kisses.  At night she gets SO excited to get in bed with her BEA!  That's how she says bear and it's so cute.  Half the time she also calls it a baby too.  
  • She's sleeping through the night.  Yes, it's taken this long.  I'm even a little afraid of typing that here in fear that she might stop tonight.  I feel like a new person with a full night of sleep.  I've even started remembering my weird dreams.  Last night I was pregnant and it was a boy (who had a giant penis in the sonogram which made dream Ben proud).  I woke up thinking, NO I JUST STARTED SLEEPING!
  • She thinks all of the things that she's not allowed to touch are called no no.  She doesn't exactly respond to no(at least not all of the time) but she does know all of the things in the house that are called no no like the record player, the records, electric outlets, and cats.  She approaches them and says no in question form like, "no, no?"  She then looks at you and touches them anyways. 
  • She still likes peeing without her diaper on in the few seconds of freedom before bath time.  Rebel.   

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

14 Months

Just look at the difference a year makes.  It's impossible to describe.  Each month I think, oh she doesn't seem that different from last month and then I look at the pictures side by side and she looks totally different.  Then I think of all of the little things that have happened in this quick month and then this quick year and I just want to put on the breaks but there are none!  Here are a few notes about this month:

  • This is the first month where Polly climbed into her chair all on her own to have her monthly picture taken.  All I had to say was "Polly, go get in your chair."  It's amazing what she understands.
  • I think there are an infinite number of ways that parents can influence their kids and then there are things about your kid that are just the way they are.  She already has her way of doing things and it cracks me up to see her inserting her opinion and way into our lives.  Here I thought I was in charge but I truly know that isn't the case.
  • She's a climber.  It started with her rocking chair and then moved to the couch. Her most favorite thing is to get into her rocking chair, stand in it and rock back and forth while looking at us and laughing.  She knows it drives me crazy!!!  My mother wished this on me I'm sure.  
  • She gives kisses!  This is the best.  Sometimes it's still her entire open mouth on the side of your face but just today when we ask her for a kiss she turns to give one.  It's the sweetest thing.  
  • She pretends to talk on the phone.  It's hilarious that a tiny person who can hardly talk can pick up almost any object, put it up to her head and pretend it's a phone and say, "Hi!"  It's too cute to handle.  
  • No matter how many times I get tiny person poop on me, I never handle it like an adult.  One night we were letting her run around before bath time naked because she loves it so.  She had just eaten chili so she was a pretty big mess.  She had been let loose for about 30 seconds when she had already peed and pooped on the floor.  Not realizing what had just happened I naively asked, "what is she picking up?" but as the question was coming out of my mouth I realized what it was.  There Ben and I are both yelling over one another various forms of, "GROSS", "hold her arms", "NO! IT'S ON ME!!", "I hope that's chili!!!", "What do we do?!?!".  It was madness.  You couldn't see where the poop ended and the chili began.  We survived but we are forever changed.  

Sunday, January 26, 2014

13 Months

This may just be one of my favorite pictures so far.  She looks like such a big girl sitting there!  Today she could crawl in and out of the chair all on her own.  It wasn't graceful but she could make it work most of the time without hitting that giant head of hers and crying.  I've been feeling nostalgic for the cozy days we had together this time last year, all snuggled up together for hours and hours.  Now I'm savoring the cuddles that I get before and after bedtime and nap time because the rest of the time she is literally running circles around me.  I've decided to keep up these monthly pictures because the changes form month to month are so distinct to me when I compare them.  I feel like these pictures make me stop and savor her at each phase because she is changing so quickly and continues to change me along the way.  Here are some things from the last month.

  1. I'm pretty sure she says some form of "there you go" when she hands me things.  It sounds more like all one word, "deryougo".   I noticed it the other day and just thought it was coincidence but then I realized that I say that to her about a thousand times a day and she kept doing it and when I hand things back to her she say, "ta tou", which I translate to THANK YOU!  Ugh.  Watching these little things amazes me but also reminds me that I need to cut a few words out of my vocabulary.   
  2. We went for her 12 month check up and she still not keeping up on her weight so we've started the switch to whole milk for some of her feedings and chasing her around the house with food when she refuses her highchair.  She is in the 90% for head size (my fault), 50% for height and 5% for weight.  I'm worried that she got Ben's slender build and my giant head.  Yikes, what a combo.  
  3. This child still won't sleep through the night.  I've gotten pretty accustomed to sleep deprivation and wish that I could list this accomplishment on my resume.  It's amazing that I'm still a fairly full functioning human being at this point.  
  4. I find myself hiding in the kitchen eating snacks that I don't want to share with her, I have a feeling that this is some parenting right of passage.  I can't be the only one that does this.  Right?  Anyone?  
  5. I wonder how much longer I can shout, "I'm new at this!" when I do something like forget to put shoes on her before leaving the house or forget to take diapers to the sitter or when I can't remember if she had a bath last night or the night before.  This is hard stuff!!!  
  6. She's too impatient to have her diaper changed much less let me put clothes back on her afterwards.  I long for summer when it will be acceptable to let her run around with just a diaper. Gosh, where does this impatience come from?!?  It's terrifying seeing yourself in your child.  

Thursday, December 26, 2013

1 Year Old

This has been the fastest year of my entire life.  It's so hard to believe that it's been a year since Polly arrived.  I still remember it all so clearly yet is seems so foggy all at the same time.  She was so tiny in our arms, and now she's this walking and talking person with her own little personality.  I remember the anticipation leading up to her arrival.  It was so hard to imagine what she would be like, what she would look like.  Now she's here and it's been a year!!!  Our wildest imaginations couldn't have imagined this crazy year.  Here are some highlights from this last month and year.

  • A new parent pretty much summed up our last month with A Ten Month Old's Letter to Santa.  I'm so tired of these lists floating around on the internet about EVERYTHING but this one made me laugh so hard because it's true.  All of it.
  • Restaurants are getting nearly impossible but luckily Ben has become obsessed with cooking.  It's not a relaxing dinner with a squirming baby in your arms wanting to walk around or a pointing baby gesturing to your neighbor (you know, the strangers sitting next to you) and yelling as if she wants their food, NOW!  
  • I'm always anticipating the next phase until it arrives and then I long for the previous phase.  I couldn't wait for her to walk but now she's everywhere!  She loves being chased which makes for one tired momma.  I do so love the sound of her running into her bedroom and as soon as she hears me coming she squeals with anticipation.  It's the best. Now I find my self longing for her to talk to me but I know I'll miss her little babbling.  
  • Babbling: she says duck, dada, mama, cat, NO!, uh-oh, bye bye, HI!, and book. She's obsessed with books which makes me so proud.  She loves looking at her books and having people show her the pictures.  She's quite forceful about it actually when she's in the mood for books and you're trying to concentrate on anything else.  
  • About this exact time one year ago I was puking my guts out.  Random I know, but it's true. 
  • Today we had a small party for Polly to celebrate.  She was surrounded by some of the people who she's seen the most over this last first year.  It was simple but perfect in its own imperfect, dysfunctional way.  We nearly forgot to sing happy birthday, the party favors I ordered were perfectly chokeable so I didn't bring them, and a long list of other things but it was perfect.  Plus she'll never know the difference.  
  • I am still absolutely aware of the fact that I'm so lucky.  This has been one of the hardest and best years of my life.  I can't wait for the next year, I just hope it slows down a bit.   

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

11 Months!

Look at that face!  She's becoming more person, less baby every day.  This has been one crazy month between work and Crafty Supermarket.  I'm so excited for the holiday season and some much needed family time.  Here are some highlights from this month:

  • I miss her a lot during the day but it's pretty manageable until I see another baby close to her age. 
  • Remember when I talked about the difference between spit up and throw up?  Well this month we learned the difference between throwing up at home and throwing up (three times at once) in public.  We are so sorry Skyline.  I also want to know where the immediate instinct to catch it with my hand comes from.  
  • Nothing is sadder than a sick baby.  This month she had her first high fever and she was so pathetic and cuddly, it broke my heart.  
  • She already has tons of willpower which is terrifying since we are only eleven months into this.  When she doesn't want to go in her carseat she tightens her entire body, arches her back and yells.  It's hilarious and frustrating all at the same time.  Oh where does she get that?  
  • Ben and I regularly get in bed at 9 p.m. and we always wake up tired but that is quickly forgotten because she is always smiling in the morning and ready to go!
  • I'm so sentimental about this time last year as I was so nervous and excited to see her little face.  It's so hard to believe that she will be a year old in one quick month.  

Saturday, October 26, 2013

10 Months!

This picture pretty much says it all.  I thought her picture was hard to capture last month but this photo session was just hilarious.  This shot perfectly captures her right before she lurched towards me.  I can't get enough of this little girl.  Here are some thoughts from this month that went by too, too fast...

  • We've been wondering what we did before Polly was here.  On Thursday I had a killer headache so I came home from work a little early to try to nap.  When I felt my normal wakeup excitement to see Polly only to realize she was still at the sitter.  The entire house feels so sad and empty when she's not here.  
  • She's not walking yet and I can't imagine how much of a handful she's going to be when that happens.  She is all over the place!  She knows all of the things she's not supposed to get into but she gets into them anyways just so you will come and get her.  
  • She cried the other day when my BF Meri started walking out the door and it nearly made me cry too.  I'm lucky to have so many people in my life that care about me and I love that now Polly has them too.  
  • I've been finding myself really missing her during the day.  It seems like it's been harder to leave her this month which is funny because I thought it would get easier.  I think it has to do with the fact that she's such a little sponge now.  She copies your sounds and movements so much and I just wish I could be here to teach her EVERYTHING.  But then I think, as I've mentioned before, that I want her to grow up admiring her hardworking driven momma.  I know she'll learn a lot from that too.  
  • We went home to South Carolina earlier this month for my cousins wedding and it was great to get to share her with my family again.  I can't wait until she is a bit older and I can teach her about where her name came from but I also try not to wish too hard for the future because I know it will be here too soon.  
  • I love, love, love how much Ben loves Polly.  It's crazy to have been with someone for ten years and feel like you know everything about them but then you get this whole new person to get to know as you watch them become a dad.  
  • I could still definitely use more sleep in my life.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

9 Months

Each month that passes I'm shocked by how quickly the time is moving and how much she changes from one photo to the next.  The weather is starting to cool off and I distinctly remember this time last year anticipating her arrival and now, a year later, we have this little lady wearing us out!  Here are some highlights from this month.
  • Her first official word: duck.  About two months ago she got attached to her pink rubber duck that she plays with and her yellow rubber duck that she takes a bath with her.  When she sees them for the first time in the day she gets super excited and says, "du, du, du!"  It's pretty exciting.
  • I continue to parent with my assistant Google.  Polly at 9 months still has no teeth which my boobs appreciate but the worrier in me is stressing about it.  This month I found myself Googling "baby never gets teeth" which was a TERRIBLE idea because apparently it's a thing that happens which can be caused by defects and all sorts of other scary things that you can find on the internet.  Tonight however she bit down on my finger and I'm pretty sure I felt a tooth!  
  • Just when you think your house is baby proof your husband thinks she's found a piece of yarn on the floor but it's a baby snake that the cats brought up from the basement.  It didn't make into the mouth but I can't stop thinking about what if it had!  Then you freak out because THERE WAS A SNAKE IN YOUR HOUSE!
  • Two weeks ago Ben and I were driving home from a wedding and while driving about 55mph down the highway someone rear ended us...while driving.  Think about that for a moment.  We were moving, rear ended and still moving.  It really freaked us out because we didn't see it coming and Polly was in the car.  No one was hurt but it scared Polly awake and gave me a nice neck ache for a few days.  What really freaked us out was that the person didn't stop.  We never even saw them.  I've had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my little Polly lives in a world that I can't control.  That has really messed with my head.  
  • It's a mistake to decide to use a rocking chair as the place where you want to take a monthly photo.  It takes about 50 tries to get one good one.  
  • I'm tired.  So, so tired.