It's taken me two weeks to get to this post. There is too much to say but there are no words for most of it so I'll write what I can. Two weeks ago today we headed to the hospital. I have to say that I was more afraid and apprehensive then I was excited. I've never had surgery and the only scar I have is on the heal of my foot from getting it closed in a door while not wearing shoes when I was a kid. I was worried that I wouldn't get much time with her in the first few hours because of my own recovery. Now that I think of it, I can't even list all of the things that I was afraid of.
It was snowing for the first time this year and it made me laugh that this stubborn girl facing the wrong way was coming via c-section on a snowy day. None of which was a part of my plan for her world debut.
I was in the hospital for four days and three nights but once I got home, the recovery has been much better than my worst fears had imagined after a major abdominal surgery. My sister, mom, and nephew were a big help for a few days when we got home and then we were on our own. My nephew was so shy about her and then he wanted to take her home with him.
All was fine until Ben got sick and the role of mom really hit me with the true realization that everything is different. My time, our house, our routines, and everything are all rearranged. It is wonderful but it's also really scary and honestly it's hard. During the late nights of feeding every two hours it helps that she's so dang cute to get me through it.
Here we are today! I have on normal clothes, underwear, and I even left the house for ten long minutes to run to fabricate. It still doesn't feel real that she's here. This is one of those crazy times in life when you are completely aware of the fact that your life is changed forever and you are absolutely lucky.
3 days ago