1 Month Old

Polly is no longer a newborn and it has happened so quickly.  Today marks one month which is so hard to believe in some ways but then again it feels like she's always been here.  I can't imagine not having her in our lives now that she's taken over.  I feel like I've learned so much about myself and parenting in this short time and it's overwhelming to think that this is just a sliver of what is to come but here's what what I've got so far:

1. The world is a much scarier place once there is a tiny person in your life that you love and are responsible for.  Every stranger is a kidnapper, every car is driving TOO FAST, and every puddle in the street must be black ice which requires you to drive no faster than 10 below the speed limit which is about 30 miles slower than I normally drive.  
2. Watching my husband be a father is the hottest thing I've ever seen.
3. Being pooped, peed and puked on is no big deal when the offender is so dang cute and smiles while doing it.  
4. You instantly feel guilty about how annoyed you have always been at how paranoid and over protective your own mother has been but you'd only admit that in a blog post and continue to be annoyed.  :)  Love you mom.  
5. When your baby starts peeing without a diaper on for the first time, the solution is NOT to catch it with your hand.  
6. Babies love pooping in a fresh diaper.  
7. The scars from delivery are so worth the result and I'd do it all again tomorrow if I could.  
8. Breastfeeding was more painful than any part of my csection but that goes away and that time with her is so precious in a way I could have never imagined before.  
9. I cry already thinking about her getting married one day and having kids of her own.  
10. You really do lose all modesty when a 12 year old looking nurse helps you use the restroom for the first time after delivery and sees you in all of your glory.  
11. You realize that your cats are actually giant wild animals when you get home and see that they out weigh your baby two times each and if they touched one hair on her head, they'ed be outside SO fast.  

That's all for now.  More to come on this fun adventure.  Thanks Steph for the onesies to mark each month!  

Multitasking

I'm trying to learn to type with both hands while holding a cuddly baby like this.  I'm doing pretty well. This is her favorite sleeping spot and I can't say that I hate it but sometimes I want to get things done and she makes it quite hard.  She is snoring a bit.

Polly is growing so fast it's hard to believe that you can see differences from day to day and week to week.  We took her to the doctor on Saturday and she's gained a pound and grown three inches in eleven days.  I thought her clothes were just shrinking.  Three inches!!!  I can tell she's going through a growth spurt because she's been eating every hour and a half for a few days which can make the nights a little hard.  It's hard to pry myself out of bed for those late night feedings but once I'm up I find myself sitting there and watching her sleep far longer than I should.  I know that this time will be so short and someday I'll miss these quite nights rocking her to sleep.  Sleep seems like a small sacrifice for this short time.

I do have to be honest and admit that I miss small bits of my old life before Polly but these moments are fleeting.  I miss being alone. I miss being around people. I miss sleeping for more than two to three hours at a time. I miss being obsessed with something other than my adorable daughter.  All of that has been replaced with the excitement of things to come.  Nothing compares to the excitement I feel when I check her in at the doctors office as Pauline Davis or receive some bit of mail with her name on it, even when it's a crazy doctor bill.  Pauline.  During those late night rocking sessions I've shed a tear or two just thinking about her name.  While we call her Polly I cherish the opportunity to continue this name in my family and hope that she doesn't hate me for it in middle school.

Pauline Eleanor Davis

It's taken me two weeks to get to this post.  There is too much to say but there are no words for most of it so I'll write what I can.  Two weeks ago today we headed to the hospital.  I have to say that I was more afraid and apprehensive then I was excited.  I've never had surgery and the only scar I have is on the heal of my foot from getting it closed in a door while not wearing shoes when I was a kid.  I was worried that I wouldn't get much time with her in the first few hours because of my own recovery.  Now that I think of it, I can't even list all of the things that I was afraid of.

It was snowing for the first time this year and it made me laugh that this stubborn girl facing the wrong way was coming via c-section on a snowy day.  None of which was a part of my plan for her world debut.

We snapped this picture before heading to the hospital and hit the road.  Meri met us there after we got settled and I was pretty quiet because I was dreading the knife but a two short hours later she was here. They held her up and she was blue as they whisked her away for a short minute to the other side of the room.  I heard her cry and it was the best sound I'd ever heard in my whole life.  Ben snapped this picture of her and brought it to me to confirm that perhaps yes, Polly has my big mouth.

He held her close to me as they put me back together.  The control freak in me hated being so helpless on that table but that all melted away as she settled into her dad's arms.  She seemed so content and he seemed to fall into the role of dad so naturally.

That first night I didn't sleep, I just watch her all night which I did later regret as the exhaustion set in.




















I was in the hospital for four days and three nights but once I got home, the recovery has been much better than my worst fears had imagined after a major abdominal surgery.  My sister, mom, and nephew were a big help for a few days when we got home and then we were on our own.  My nephew was so shy about her and then he wanted to take her home with him.

All was fine until Ben got sick and the role of mom really hit me with the true realization that everything is different.  My time, our house, our routines, and everything are all rearranged.  It is wonderful but it's also really scary and honestly it's hard.  During the late nights of feeding every two hours it helps that she's so dang cute to get me through it.

Here we are today!  I have on normal clothes, underwear, and I even left the house for ten long minutes to run to fabricate.  It still doesn't feel real that she's here.  This is one of those crazy times in life when you are completely aware of the fact that your life is changed forever and you are absolutely lucky.