Polly Is Four and Other Adventures

My baby girl is 4. It's a little obnoxious that I'm going to be saying that every year for the rest of my life but it really is crazy how time flies. On one level I feel like she's always been around but on another level I feel like I'm still shocked that I'm a parent not of just one but TWO girls. I love their faces so, so much. Look at those arm rolls on Callie!

This month was insane. Here are some highlights:

• Since I returned to work from maternity leave I've had a December work trip hanging over my head. I wanted to go but I also couldn't imagine leaving a four month old baby behind. Finally I decided that dammit, women CAN have it all and I'm going on my work trip and I'm taking the dang baby with me! So I convinced my mom to let me fly her to NY and stay in a boring conference center with a baby for four days. I was worried that it would be a huge mistake, that Callie would hate travel and I would have this moment where I realized mid-trip that I was a selfish mama for bringing a baby on a work trip.  That this was for me, not for her.  
• When I stress I make lists and over prepare. 
• I created a master to pack list, organized everything so I could pump in the airport (remember this baby never latched) and manage a baby all alone. As the trip drew nearer I was stressed so checked my list one thousand times, read blogs about traveling with babies, and worried some more. I also went down a dark internet hole where people scared me to death about flying with a baby on my lap and I worried that being cheap would leave my baby with a crazy head injury.   I love and hate the internet so much.
• Finally travel time came. From my internet research I learned that if there is a free seat on the plane, they will let you use your carseat for free in the seat. All you have to do is make sure your carseat is approved for air travel which is printed right on the carseat. I even let them bump my flight to get on a flight with an empty seat. That meant I chilled in an airport for two hours before the actual travel began. I thought that would put a nail in this travel alone with a baby coffin but that didn't happen. She slept and I read a book, a book which I thought about not backing because who gets to read while traveling with a baby.  Then we boarded the plane. There was a baby seated behind us and I thought, great, our babies are both going to cry and we are going to get kicked off the plane but that didn't happen. The babies slept and I read a book.
• Callie did great with my mom at the conference center not to mention the fact that all of my colleagues loved having a baby around during breaks. My mom got sick but she was a trooper and Callie loved her the entire time. There is something magical about watching your mom with your kids. That seemed worth all of the stress. 
• Travel home time came and I thought I'd really pay for this decision on the way home but we scored TSA pre-check and boarded the plane, we scored another seat for Callie and guess what? She slept and I read a freaking book! I have no idea what I did to deserve this sweet good baby girl but she is the best baby.  I felt like I had conquered the world traveling with my little sidekick. It was expensive, it was exhausting but it was worth it. 
• Then I paid for it. The entire house except for Ben got sick. Maybe from my mom, maybe from day care but the next week I was puked on more times then I can count and we had SO much dirty laundry.  SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY. These two kids both know how to aim so it goes right into my shirt and causes me to have to change all of my clothes down to the underwear. It was some sort of stomach/nasal congestion sickness. It was terrible. Polly at one point had a 105 degree fever which is incredibly stressful. She woke up from her high fever at one point and said, "I don't want to die" which just broke our hearts! She didn't eat much for a week and got so skinny. I did get a lot of baby and Polly cuddles that week though so it was a bonus. Everyone at the doctor's office knows us now. 
• That sick week we watched a lot of movies including one of my childhood favorites An American Tale. It always made me cry as a little kid thinking about being separated from my family. That dang song! At one point during the movie Polly said, "this movie keeps making tears in my eyes." She is my kid for sure. 
• Nap time and night time confuse Polly. Sometimes she wakes up from her nap and thinks it's morning but lately she started referring to night time as "dark nap". Makes sense I guess. 
• Polly thinks steam off of warm things like coffee or soup looks like ghosts. This excites her.
• No-one makes Callie laugh like Polly. It is the best. 
• Callie starts daycare next week and it's giving me the feels. It's also giving me panic attacks because that daycare bill is no joke people. Yikes. But Ben needs to focus on his career and Callie will be in great hands with people that we have come to know and trust. Yes I'm typing those words out to make myself feel better. I'm also reminding myself that it's our job to grow independent kids and part of that is letting a village of people help you. I hated leaving Polly when I returned to work but I've also been so proud of how independent she has been and hopefully Callie will be the same way. 
• All of that being said, women need at least 4-6 months maternity leave. Paid. Period. It's good for the mamas and it's good for the babies. 
• It scares me how much I love this little family of mine. I am beyond grateful.  

Happy New Year everyone! Thank you for reading this year!