Not So Terrible Twos

The only way we could get her to sit still was the rainbow slinky.  This month has felt LONG and it seems like Polly has grown a yard since the last update.  Some of her 2T pants are starting to turn into capri pants just in time for the weather to turn warm.  I am fall down tired tonight after a crazy month that culminated with a rainy yet successful Crafty Supermarket on Saturday.  I am definitely feeling like my weekend needs a weekend.  Here are some updates from this month.

• We are starting to understand where the term "terrible twos" got it's name.  There are many versions of this conversation that happen in our house on a daily basis.
• Me: Polly it's time to use the potty, do you want me to put the seat up for you?
• Polly (in a sad voice):  Yes.
• Me: Okay, are you sure?
• Polly (in an even sadder voice): Yes.
• Me (putting the seat on):  Here you go.
• Polly(crying and stomping up and down): NO!
• Me: what's wrong?
• Polly: I WANTED TO DO IT!!!!
• What they don't say about this age though is how awesome it can be.  It really has to be or people all over the world would only have one kid.  They would NEVER have a two year old and then think, let's do that again if it weren't also awesome at the same time.  Yesterday she held my face in her hand and told me she loved me in a most genuine sweet way that I thought my heart and brain would explode. 
• I often see her taking care of her dolls or stuffed animals in the most gentle way and I can hear her saying sweet little things to them that I say to her, "I won't let you fall", "do you want to lay your head on my shoulder" and it makes me melt.  
• She sometimes starts sentences with the word "actually" and I find myself realizing that I'm closer to having a 15 year old than I am to being a 15 year old myself.  
• We recently gave her this What a Wonderful World book. It's become a nightly favorite.  I usually sing it to her despite my terrible voice and she has started to sing along too.  This song is one of those songs that I've heard so many times that I don't really hear it but reading this book to her each night, I get a little lump in my throat every time.  There is something about these lines that summarize all of the hopes that I have for her.  

I hear babies cryin'. I watch them grow

They'll learn much more than I'll ever know 

And I think to myself

What a wonderful world

Three years

Today marks three years since we found out that a tiny human was coming to live with us for a while.  I've read a lot of mommy blogs about this change and I don't find myself to be a part of the camp that feels like I found out who I was when I became a mom or that I found myself when I became a mom.  I also can't really say that I even know what those two statements really mean to be honest.  I do think that having a daughter has made me less afraid to share my feelings and be more vulnerable to love and affection of others.  It's made me want to be a stronger woman and a good role model for her.  It's made me want to try even more things that are hard or that I'm afraid of because I want her to do the same.  It's made me value my relationships more for reasons that I don't really understand yet.  Maybe it's that I see my own mortality in her youth.  Tonight I was driving home from an event, thinking about what a difference three years can make and this song struck me a bit.  She made me love more.