Lonely Song by Polly

I'm definitely hitting a phase in this pregnancy where I'm really sentimental about the fact that my days with my one little sidekick are numbered.  I know we have enough room in our lives for two little girls but there is something bitter sweet about hitting this final stretch of pregnancy.  This last month seemed to go by at a normal pace aside from the fact that work is CRAZY for me right now.  Here's this month in review:

• While eating breakfast the other day Polly breaks the silence with, "sometimes when you and daddy leave me at school I sing a lonely song."  Well thanks kid, that feels terrible.  I reassure you that she loves school and playing with her friends but she definitely loves her music too and to mess with our emotions.
• She likes to request songs to hear in the car by basically telling you a playlist when you get in. If you don't play them all or play the wrong one she will notice.
• You are NEVER allowed to end a song in the middle.
• She got in trouble at school the other day for eating weeds on the playground.  When I asked her why she was eating weeds she said it's because she and her friend were pretending to be panda bears eating bamboo.  She actually says bamboos which made it sound even cuter.  I'm thinking this is how I trick her into eating salad.    
• She's really into running around naked and shaking her naked butt in your face. Where does this come from? 
• She had a lapse in potty training over the last few weeks just to keep us on our toes.  She's finally gotten back on board but our nerves are shot at this point.  
• I'm definitely at an emotional point in this pregnancy.  On Monday I was working from home and I looked out the upstairs window to see Polly swinging on her glider in her Wonder Woman shirt with her cape blowing in the wind.  The sun and weather was perfect and the whole scene made me cry. Yikes.  
• Polly is officially in a big kid twin bed which this emotional momma can barely handle. She's so proud of it.  We made sure she knows to sleep close to the wall and put a pillow between her and the edge of the bed along the side.  That didn't keep her from falling...off the foot of the bed and smacking her little face on the bookshelf. There were big tears and blood which is extremely stressful in the middle of the night. In the middle of the crying and the dabbing of her bloody lip she looked up at me seriously as I rocked her in her chair with big tears in her eyes and asked, "Is Marlin a clown fish?" I'm confused by this question in the middle of the drama, "Like from Nemo?", I ask.  She lets out a sad pathetic, "yeah." I assure her, "yes Marlin is a clown fish." She is satisfied with this and says, "ok, I'll tell my friends at school."  In my mind I'm thinking, OH OKAY, YOU ARE FINE?!?  I'M A LITTLE STRESSED HERE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW THIS SOONER!!!  It is terrible seeing your little kid get hurt but I was so proud of her too for getting back in bed without worry. 
• There is a baby room with a crib waiting for a baby. No, I'M NOT FREAKING OUT A LITTLE OVER HERE! I'm freaking out a little over here.  

Elephants Are...

So, so tired.  Having a toddler at 26 weeks pregnant is no joke.  Luckily she keeps me on my toes.  She was not interested in cooperating this morning but we did get this serious pic.  Even when she's driving me crazy, she is still the cutest person I've ever seen.  She's also at an age where you never know what is going to come out of her mouth.  Here are some highlights from this month:

• Just tonight she was telling us about how elephants are vagitarians to which Ben and I both busted out laughing and corrected her, "we think you mean vegetarians".  Vagitarians are probably something completely different and it's perhaps a title that belongs in the adult film industry.  To afraid to google if this title exists out there but if it doesn't, you are welcome world, it's yours to use. 
• The other night Polly was calling for me to come into her room but I sent daddy instead to which she said to him, "get out of here, I don't like your hair.  I don't want to look at it."  WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM?!?
• Every thing good she learns is from us and everything bad she learns is from school.  That sounds about right, right?  Fact.  
• She is making room in her mind for her little sister.  We bought a new rocking chair for her room this weekend that gives her room to sit next to me in the chair since I'm running out of lap space with the belly and frees up the old chair for the baby room.  We were reading the other night and she stopped and said the baby has room to sit on the other side of me.  I love that she's thinking of our routine and imagining her baby sister there.  She's going to be so loving.  This baby is going to have a second mommy for sure! 
• She remembers everything. EVERYTHING!
• She pretend reads and it's my favorite thing right now.  I love hearing her version of the stories that we read.  I'm always amazed by how much she remembers but she also just makes up her own stories too. It's crazy to see that transition. She's growing so fast. 
• I'm feeling very ill prepared for #2.  By this point in my pregnancy with Polly her room was in process and we were reading everything.  We have time right? 

Pizza Cake

It truly feels like I just posted the last Polly update.  Time is going so fast between work, stealing moments to enjoy spring, and chasing this crazy little lady around with a growing baby belly.  I usually have a note open on my phone that I write funny little things that she has said over the last month and there was only one thing that I have down:

She's really exploring her boundaries and experimenting with listening or better yet, not listening.  After a back and forth exchange with her about doing something she didn't want to do she yelled, "walk away, you're not in my life, this is closed!"  Again I find myself wondering what in the world will come out of her mouth in the teenage years.  Here are a few other highlights from the month:

• The web of night time routine that she weaves is constantly evolving.  Right before bed she is hungry, thirsty and transforms into half sloth, half human.  She has developed a kiss routine that has grown to include a regular kiss, an eskimo kiss, a butterfly kiss.  Just added this week we have the forehead kiss which consists of her banging her forehead against mine and then the grand finale where we kiss one another on the nose.  Last night she tried to add me doing the routine with Bear before turning off the light but I declined.  I could hear her high pitched voice, which is her voice for Bear, fake crying as I went down stairs.  
• When given the choice between most restaurants and Indian food, she will always pick Indian food.  The pizza option can throw her for a loop though.  
• She has been talking a lot lately about wanting to make a pizza cake.  She describes it as having sauce on the inside and frosting, strawberries and cheese on the outside.  
• She got me a bear for my birthday.  The bear I've slept with for the last 20+ years finally lost both of it's legs this month.  She named it Mommy Bear or Chris.  
• All of this is cute and funny and sweet but this year so far has been hard.  Work has been a challenge and I feel tired a lot which is tough when you have an eager little lady ready to play all the time.  I'm so lucky and I know that but that doesn't make it easier or make me feel less guilty for wanting some quiet, alone time.  I try to remind myself that this time is passing so quickly and there will be a time in my future when the world is still and quiet around me and I will probably hate it.  I've been trying to focus more on appreciating the simplicity of one before there are two little ladies with hilarious bedtime routines.  

Girl Parts - Part II

We are getting ready for another baby in our house and it's quite amazing how different the second time is and how guilty I feel about how little I've posted about this baby in comparison to our prep for Polly to arrive.  Today we found out that we are having another little girl and things are starting to settle in that our family of three is about to become four in 20 weeks.  Sisters!  That makes my heart melt.  My sister and I are so different but I love having a sister and I can't wait for my girls (MY GIRLS!) to have that too.  If the coming 20 weeks pass as fast as the past 20 weeks have then she will be here basically tomorrow.  I wonder how different they will be.  This baby girl is already facing the right way which Polly never did.  Maybe there is a natural childbirth in my future after all.

Polly couldn't be more excited about her baby sister.  She has said from day one that it was a girl.  She would never entertain the fact that it could be a boy.  She also wants to name her Aika.  I'm making up the spelling because I have NO idea where that comes from but she's insisted that's her name for months.

What will we name this little girl? How will she change our little family? We don't know but we can't wait to see what happens.  20 weeks down, 20 weeks to go!

Also, I feel huge already!!!

Statue of Liberty

She is yelling, "I look like the Statue of Liberty!" in this photo.  She really loves that statue!  She is a handful and this month between a three year old, being pregnant, the February grey days and work kicking my butt, I have been one tired lady.  This year should be interesting.  Polly is definitely at an age where you never know what in the world is going to come out of her mouth.  I truly can't document it all but this first interaction sure does sum it up many of our interactions this month:


Polly: (angry voice) GO AWAY!
Me: (nice calm voice) Polly, be nice.
Polly: (louder angry voice) PLEASE GO AWAY.
Me: silently walking away to laugh in the other room

Other highlights:

• I was leaving for work and then for a night away to attend the Midwest Craft Con, organized in part by my awesome business partner in Crafty Supermarket crime Grace, and feeling a lot of mommy guilt about working too much and going away for the night.  Earlier in the morning I told Polly that I wouldn't see her until tomorrow night and she was quite sad which doubled my guilt but as I was leaving out the door she stood up in her chair and yelled, "BYE MOMMY HAVE A GOOD TIME!"  It melted my heart.  She is such a perfect combination of salty and sweet.  It's terrifying.
• Last night we were reading books before bed and she wanted to cuddle with the baby so she laid her head on my belly, rubbed it and said, "I love you baby".  I'm basically going to cry a lot between now and this time next year I think.  I can't handle the idea of my little Polly being a big sister.  It's too much for the tear ducts to handle.  
• My insides still turn upside down when watching Polly and her dad.  He is such a great dad and it's my favorite thing to see.  
• The other night we were at Skyline eating dinner and above our heads a TV had the news playing.  Polly looked at the television and said, "Look, it's Donald Trump".  I said yeah, we don't like Donald Trump.  Polly's face gets all sad and she says loudly, "BUT I LIKE DONALD TRUMP!"  Ben and I are both shaking our heads frantically saying no, no!  Hopefully we don't have an Alex P. Keaton on our hands here.  Donald Trump is like a cartoon character so I can see the appeal to a toddler.  No I can't.  This is terrible!  What have we done wrong?!?!  
• I'm too sleepy for more bullets.  

She Has Things To Say...

This month this kid has made me laugh until I cried and she's made me have to put myself in time out because she's tested every ounce of patience that I have.  One day Ben texted me at 10:30 in the morning to say Polly hadn't stopped talking since I left for work.  That pretty much sums up this month.  Here are some of the highlights:

• Today she visited the preschool class in prep for starting preschool next week.  The change doesn't even phase her.  In this way, she is a very easy child.  When I picked her up today she introduced me to her teacher using my first name.  "My mommy's name is Chris."  My kid has better social skills than I do.
• To Ben after his hair cut. Polly: Daddy your hair looks silly when you take haircuts.  Ben: You don't like it?  Polly: no, it's silly when you take haircuts.  
• While driving her home from school one day I was trying to talk to her about her day but she instead asked me to turn the music up.  I've always hated the term threenager until Polly turned three and began acting like a teenager.  
• We often have dance parties or pretend to be at dance class but sometimes she won't let us participate, she just wants us to sit on the couch and watch.  
• I've been trying to explain pregnancy to Polly over the last several months pointing out pregnant women we know or pictures or women with babies in their bellies.  A few weeks ago she was studying my waistline and asked me out of the blue, "mommy, do you have a baby in your shirt."  Stunned into silence I didn't know what to say and she pressed on with an excited smile on her face, "do you?"  Lucky for me I do have a baby in my shirt but I thought I could get away with a few more weeks of not telling anyone.  Surely I wasn't fooling anyone at work if my three year old busts me out at 10 weeks.  The body isn't as forgiving with the second I've come to realize.  So there you have it, Polly is going to be a big sister.  She couldn't be more excited.  
• The above new information has lead to SEVERAL hilarious things coming out of her mouth including her immediately asking if she could see it which she asked for several days in a row until she began to realize it is going to take a while.  13 weeks and counting!  
• She also likes to talk about how it's going to POP out!  I have no idea where that comes from in her little mind.  I hope it pops out easily.  
• She starts sentences about the baby with, "when MY baby gets here..."
• She also said that when the baby pops out its mommy will come.  I had to explain that I'll be its mommy.  "But you're MY mommy," Polly says.  I thought we were in for it but after sleeping on it for a night, she was cool with it.  
• Sometimes she'll be doing something like watching a short TV program and she'll say, "Maybe my baby can share my lean back chair (bean bag chair) with me."  That makes my heart explode.  We are all trying to imaging what this change will be like for us.  She even thinks she will finally learn to share when the baby comes.  Magic.  
• While eating dinner the other day she said, "when you eat the baby gets dirty".  I nearly shot food out of my nose thinking about her thinking about the baby all mixed up in my belly with the food I'd just eaten.  We discussed anatomy for a bit.  
• It's hard to imagine that I will feel this big love for another one but everyone says I will.  I'm going to trust them but for the next few months I'm going to try to really enjoy our family of three until we become four at the end of July.  
• I'm so lucky to know Polly.  

P is Three

I can't believe my baby is three years old!  I'm thankful she still lets me rock her before bedtime after we read a few books.  Tonight I was very aware of the fact that those days are numbered and it made me cry a bit.  She won't even let me walk with her to get in bed because she wants to do it herself.  The will is strong with this one. While I know that is going to server her well one day, she can drive me insane when she sets her mind to defy me.  Here are a few highlights from this month:

• She calls tears "crying water".  
• She has declared that she hates vegetables and I'm convinced daily that she's going to starve.  If  I would let her, she'd live on cheese and crackers.  The other day when snack time arrived I offered her fruit, she said, "NO! I want a good snack out of the brown cabinet."  That's where we keep the crackers.  The sacred crackers!
• I'm still amazed by how I'm biologically predisposed to love her face.  I JUST LOVE HER LITTLE FACE SO DANG MUCH!
• She thinks all of our close friends are our cousins.  
• When she wants something from either her dad or I and one of us says no, she goes to the other.  I didn't expect this to start so early.  Luckily we are a good team.
• She is experimenting with yelling and pitching fits and it's all I can do not to laugh at her sometimes.  She can be so tiny and angry it's just hilarious...sometimes.
• Her favorite Christmas present was a stretchy caterpillar that cost $2.14 and her favorite birthday present was blue Play Dough that was an extra party favor.  We really could have saved ourselves a lot of money and time here.  
• The face in the picture above is the face she gives when she's trying to get something out of you like chocolate.  We see it often and it puzzles me how she learns to cut her little eyes and turn her little head to try to get what she wants.  WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM!?!  
• While visiting my home state last week we stopped to visit my childhood best friend and her family.  I bought her daughters, much to her dismay, the slime that makes farting noises when you stick it back in the container thinking I want her daughters to remember me.  It was all fun and games except Polly is really into "toot" jokes now and really enjoyed stinking up the bathtub tonight.  The joke is on me now Sarah.  :)